Musings on the Marina...

I pen these thoughts, sitting in the moonlight and the world around me intoxicates my senses.
The twinkling moonlight dancing on the waves...
The waves trying to reach me, but they fail as they're so frail...

As I pen these thoughts, I think of you..You, and the waves and the moonlight fill up my senses with an everlasting longing...The sound of the waves competing with each other to tell us its tales... To tell us its happiness and sorrows, and tales of tomorrows...
And in the distance, there's a lone ship trudging along...And as it beomes smaller and vanishes out of human sight, I'm overcome by memories of yesteryears...

Some clouds cover the Moon and block my view...
People come and make me forget you, your touch, your smell...
But you're etched in my mind for ever... Your memories are indelible...
A little kid comes selling 'sundal' and breaks my reverie... I shoo him away but in my mind you stay... So, I call him back, give him a buck and return to my thoughts...
Thoughts that make no sense...Thoughts that lack causality... Thoughts have no chronology... But thoughts I must pen to escape reality... Thoughts that are my solace, my friends...

Far, far away, where there is no fear... I must go there one day... 'Where the mind is without fear' as Tagore said...No compulsions of the mind, no urges of the flesh... Where you and I can exist in an untainted state of bliss... I must go there one day...

Sitting on the sand, my thoughts are perfumed by music...
Words come out like lyrics of a song but they don't make sense and seldom rhyme...

I've left my family behind... The only friends I have are the stars above... But they too have forsaken me for another perhaps...

My writing is mine for ever... I'll never share it with anyone... Maybe because they are too personal... Or maybe because my writing is not good... (Yet, look at me now...)

Voices in the distance herald my future loneliness...
I'm as far away from human company as the voices are from me...

I look at my surroundings and think... I look at the world and it's ever-changing, so are its people...

Writing down one thought after another as they come to my mind... Is this 'stream of consciousness' ?

Eyes feel strained...the light of the Moon ain't enough... Much like my life which seems beautiful in its perfection but its luminosity is bleak...

An astrologer once told me I will work in distant lands... Does that mean I will cross these seas? But the sea scares me with its power and depth and makes me aware of what I lack... But I have power and depth... Then why the doubts... My ambivalence kills me...

Suddenly, the sea is quiet... Silence descends like a shroud... I don't know what to do... I have nothing to write... But then the sounds commence again, renewed with a new-found energy. My life requires constant action, else I'll fall asleep, I'll do nothing... Life gives me challenges and all the action that I need... But the question is, 'Am I always ready to face the challenges? Am I ready to face life?'

The ship's reached the other end of the horizon... I sit staring blankly at the sea... The sights and sounds don't fill my senses any more... My thoughts are exhausted for the day...
I prepare to go home... I wish I could say I prepare to go 'house'... Because it is only a 'house', a concrete structure devoid of family, with a dearth of friends, lacking love and warmth...
The place I call my home... seems beyond these seas somewhere... The winds carry to me my mother's voice, my father's warmth... And as I languish in this alien land, I know that I miss them the most.